GETTIN’ LOST
Whadup readers! … Miss me? Probably not, but I don’t really care – I didn’t miss yall much either. Actually, scratch that – I did. Why the hiatus then you might ask? Well – I’m not gonna offer excuses because they’d be bogus. I got lost – how’s that? I’ve since found my way though, and am very, very happy to be back! Lost and now am found – call me Amazing Grace! You know what, don’t – just call Grayson Wynne and thank him.
Grayson didn’t find me – but he found himself – and that is why I’m back, submitting another column for this world-renowned spectacular blog. If you’re wondering who Grayson Wynne is then you’re just like me – I had never heard of him before this week. So who is he and why am I crediting my return as a staff writer on this blog to him? Find out here:
Grayson Wynne is the man. The fucking MAN – and that’s saying something seeing as he is 9 years old and probably still pubert-izing. I decided to write this column about Grayson and the above article partly because I just got back from a SICK camping trip in Joshua Tree National Park, but also because I – like Grayson – really like the show ‘Man vs. Wild’ and watch it religiously and have gained new knowledge – some ideas very basic and simple; idea-generating/paradigm-opening if you will – that came directly from this show. Some skills I’ve used and thankfully there are some that I’ve not had to use.
Getting lost in the wilderness is no fun (well, sometimes it is) and can be VERY scary. It’s happened to me before, but I wasn’t alone – and I wasn’t 9 – and I was outfitted with almost every type of tool one might need in the wilderness. I didn’t get ‘scared’ per-se, but I definitely was very nervous and very anxious for a long time – until my 2 friends and I found a stream and we could re-fill our very diminished water supply (with microfilter pumps for health reasons). Still though, we had a GPS unit so we were reassured that we could, if need be, b-line it back to where we parked, but there was a good 4 hour period where we had absolutely no idea where we were and where we got off the trail. Without such resources, we would’ve been just like Grayson, except we were three, and he was one; we also wouldn’t have had a 14 person group of people know we were missing immediately and know to send a search party.
Everyone should really stop and think how you would react in that type of situation. Would you have the necessary skills? What about tools? Do you think you could survive? How long? What would be the first thing you do? How would you try and save yourself and get found?
These are important questions, and whether or not you’re predisposed to camping/hiking/exploring/adventuring and thus more likely to be in that situation is irrelevant. It literally could be a matter of life-or-death. Personally, I think survival skills should be a subject in grade school. It is vitally important, and many people die each year because they don’t have any type of, or insufficient, survival skills and get themselves in over their heads.
That is also why I think shows like ‘Man vs Wild’ and ‘Survivorman’ are not only entertaining, quality television programs, but also very useful tools in themselves that I’m thankful have reached mainstream media. Grayson’s case is a perfect example – a 9 year old knowing to leave a trail (a brightly colored trail at that) so he could move and still be confident of how to get back to where he was (or to lead searchers to his location) is a pretty profound, yet incredibly simple, thing that in my opinion wouldn’t cross the mind of the average lay person. These are the perfect medium too, in which ‘survival ed’ could be taught. Just like every 5th grader has to learn ‘sex ed’ (and totally digs it); every 7th grader should be mandated to sit in a classroom once a week for 12 weeks and watch an hour-long entertaining TV program that shows them ways to survive – I doubt they’d fight that. Even today’s king of comedy, Will Ferrell, made a guest appearance on ‘Man vs Wild’ and trekked through the Siberian tundra (and ate elk-eyeballs) to promote his film ‘Land of the Lost’.
Being a boy scout is one thing, and I’m not advocating that everyone should be (I wasn’t even one) but knowing simple, basic skills like ‘leave a trail’ or ‘build a fire and burn live leaves so it smokes heavily’ or ‘build shelter’ is completely different. People need to know these things, and sadly most don’t, and they don’t come close.
Since these are my feelings, and this is my column, I’ve decided to make an attempt at educating the world on a few very basic 1-2-3′s they’d need to ensure survival:
1) always carry a knife, preferably a multi-tool
2) before setting out on any trek, have at least 3x the amount of water you think you’d need – and a way to replenish that supply
3) make sure you have a map of sorts, and a compass
4) have a whistle
5) know if you do get lost, the best thing is to find an open, easily accessible area and stay put. If you must move, do what Grayson did
6) know how to make fire – our ancestors’ ancestors’ ancestors figured it out – and your brain is much more advanced than theirs
7) most importantly, don’t take chances – don’t freak out, start running, screaming, jumping off rocks etc – stay calm and pragmatic
I welcome comments to your thoughts, stories, advice etc.
Until next time readers – KEEP WONDERING!
**** Comments? Suggestions? Want to kidnap Sliz and really test his survival skill? Sliz can be reached at sliz@themixtapemonster.com ***
Loved this article. Totally agree about a survival skills class. Should be required in late middle school or early high school I believe.
The Monster would straight be dead within hours of being lost. No survival or outdoorsmen skill whatsoever.
cool article.
side note man vs wild guy bear grylls is a pansy compared to les stroud. fakin his “dire” situation. while he is informative i think les would win an ultimate survivor showdown.
that would be a cool show, ultimate survivor. get ppl like les, bear and ray mears. leave them stranded, person that survives the longest or gets back to civilization wins.
Good article Sliz. Two things I would add, and I’m really surprised you of all people didn’t include the first one, is to have some extra rope/string/twine (duct tape can also usually work). Every time I’ve been back packing it’s come in handy. Granted you’re going to have rope if you’re out there, but I’ve always got extra.
Second, always have something bright to help searchers rescue if need be.
The only problem I see with these shows, specifically Man v Wild, is it gives people too much confidence to go away from what you should do in 99% of cases if you’re really lost–stay put. For example, I don’t agree with him leaving the trail (especially since they found those clues he left and would’ve been found a lot sooner), but once he made that decision definitely a good idea to mark his trail.
yea, i had the same thoughts stonewall. the number one rule when you realize you’re lost is to stay put; but if you can’t for safety reasons or whatever and decide to move – marking your trail is the next best thing. I do also think that these shows, especially ‘Man vs. Wild’ does what you say it does – gives viewers (or can give them) a false sense of security which can lead to them endangering themselves. However, I also think that simple common sense would guide people from taking everything Bear Grylls says/does literally – I mean, the situations where it would be necessary to hunt and kill a snake so you can eat its meat and then use its skin as a cantene so you can recycle your urine (which he’s done) would only be necessary if you are seriously about to die. Just being lost wouldn’t suffice.
I should’ve added string to my short list, you’re absolutely right about that – it definitely always comes in useful. Then again, 9 times out of 10 you’d be wearing boots or shoes that have laces …
To bibbles’ points – Les Stroud is the man, but his show is weak compared to Man vs Wild. I know its more legit cuz he is all alone and spends an entire week that way, but as far as judging a show by its audience (which is my profession) Man vs. Wild blows it away. That of course is due in large part to the ‘over the top’ lessons that Bear Grylls is able to show (because he has backup) and the relative tame-ness of Les’s survival settings but ‘Man vs. Wild’ does in fact make that known upfront – that Bear is simply being ‘put’ in the situations he is so that he can demonstrate lessons. Les just lives it.
Also, the fact that the camera crew on Man vs Wild is as capable as they are (based on some of the things I’ve seen them do and film) is pretty impressive too.
sliz just cause something made is less mainstrem doesn’t mean it is less strong or weak by comparison. ie soulja boy- crank dat vs. little brother – say it again
good point, and i totally feel ya. i just like Man vs Wild better, even though it is significantly more far-fetch’d
les stroud vs. moose. WIN
les stroud vs. Canadian Folk Music. WIN