The Mixtape Monster’s Top 15 ESPN/Sportscenter Commercials

Another idea from Stonewall Jackson. The man is full of them. I KNOW this post is going to spark some serious debate, so let me tell you what went into my decisions. I tried to include multiple sports, because after all, it is Sportscenter. Also, a lot of people don’t realize that the Sportscenter commercials have been around for YEARS. There’s like 200 of them or something, so narrowing it down to 15 was truly a task. I realize I have left out some really good ones, including the famous “Big Buddy” one where Stuart Scott and the likes pound on kids on the bball court. Also left out the Maria Sharapova lunchroom commercial. It’s not that I don’t think these are great commercials, it’s just that I didn’t think they were funnier than any of the ones I have listed below. I also tried to take commercials spanning from the old, old ones, to really new ones as well. I think I got a pretty good list here, but I’m sure there will be some debate, so feel free to comment as always. So, without any futher ado (adieu?) (a-do?) (who knows?), here are the Monster’s Top 15.

15. Lebron James’ Chair

Sportscenter is great at the subtle humor, and this is an excellent example. This is Lebron’s first, but not last Sportscenter commercial appearance (you may remember the one where he is frusturated with the copier and Stu Scott walks by and says, “The chosen one, huh?”). I love the ones where the athletes are “working” at ESPN. Lebron in a cubicle, haha, can you imagine that?

14. Andy Roddick’s Nickname / Tennis Rankings

I remember when I first saw this one, it had me rolling. I had never thought of Andy Roddick as an A-Rod, but after you see the commercial, it kind of makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? By the way….F Alex Rodriguez and the Yankees. You won’t see any of those clowns in this countdown. I included the Roger Federer one here because after an anchor owns a tennis player, it’s only right a tennis player owns an anchor.

13. Kilborn’s Assistant

I really miss Kilborn on Sportscenter. His humor was hilarious and they often framed him as the jerk-off (also see Old School for more evidence of that, haha). Audio is off a bit on this one, but it’s the only copy of it I could find online, so deal with it. This is an oldie but goodie right here.

12. Sportscenter Security

This commercial speaks for itself, hilarious! I only wish Roenick had sold it a little more. Seems like he is giving kind of a “nice” beat down.

11. Old Timer’s Day

I also love the Sportscenter commercials where they place the innocent civilians in Sportscenter jobs (like the Kilborn one earlier on the list). This time it’s old people. I like at the end the “We’ll leave that to baseball.” No doubt a jab at Sparky Anderson and the like. Hell, you can be 102 and coach baseball.

10. Rookie Camp

Another decently old one, but a good one. Keyshawn and Kobe learn from the best on how to “be the man”. I especially like this commercial, because if you were to fast forward about 7 years, both of these clowns started acting twice as ridiculous as Stuart Scott in this commercial.

9. The New Kid

Another great parallel to the real world here. Hilarious. This kid is also about 100 times better than the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” clown.

8. The Closer

Almost made this one higher on the list. I love it how Mayne “handles it professionally”.

7. Athlete Bribing

Everyone wants their highlight, am I right? Roy Jones, Jr. is hilarious in this one. And oh yeah, of course it’s going to take a LOT more than a watch to get Cherokee Parks on Sportscenter. A LOT more. Fuck Dook.

6. Muresan Dancing

No explanation neccesary here.

5. Warmups

Subtle. Simple. Genius.

4. Custom Highlights

“That would make me look more like a hero, or a superhero.” hahahahah

3. Touchdown Dances

“ohhh….BOO-NO!”

“Can I get a puff of smoke with that?”

2. Anchor Competition

Stonewall’s favorite and my second favorite. Both the Evander and the Mr. Met storylines are hilarious. “Come out and get your whoppin’!”

1. The Manning Family Tour

You may not think it is the funniest, but I really do think this is the best one of all time.